I hate that I get so ridiculously depressed before my period, and I hate that it interferes with my life. I hate being victim to it, and I hate that it acts as a gravitational pull from anything outside my comfort zone. I hate that i'm afraid of so many things, and that I lack the courage to even try conquering these fears. I hate that I love to easily and that I never seem to be able to just be happy and go with the flow. I hate that I'm difficult and sensitive. I hate that I require attention and love in return. I hate that I can never accept things as they are, and that there always must be something wrong. I hate my low self-esteem. I hate that I can't love myself. I hate that I seem selfish. I hate that I make mistakes, I hate my grades. I hate my body, and I wish I could learn to love it. I hate my lack of will power and strength. I hate that I can't help more people. I hate that I take things to personally, and I'm always thinking. I hate that i'm a pessimist and I only get short spurts of positivity. I hate the empty feeling I get when he isn't focusing all his attention on me, I hate that that bothers me. I hate how I can never believe anything nice he says to me. I hate how I'm crying as I type this. I hate that I'm stuck 20 minutes from my friends and social life and that I don't have the freedom I once did. I hate that I'm being selfish about the new house and location. I hate that my parents believe i'm me-oriented, even if it's true. I hate that any help my parents can offer to me, only make me hate myself further. I hate how this illness, or whatever it is - holds me prisoner. Most of all, I hate how much I hate about myself.